Some days, as you wake up, you wonder what the point of this is. This whole talking, eating, sleeping.
What was the point of it, when you felt like you were watching another person’s life and yet felt so much pain? As if you weren’t meant to exist? As if… anything you touched became a disaster?
Was there even a point to begin with?
Every day, you have a heavy secret in your heart. One that grows heavier with every person you don’t tell it to. That weighs you down more and more as you think it but don’t say it out loud.
Until it gets so heavy, so LOUD, that you can’t believe that it’s only three words. Three simple words to think, but three very difficult words to feel.
And so, again and again, you think it, but you don’t speak it. You can’t say it.
Those three impossible words to say.
I am afraid.
Please help me.
“Talk”, they say, “Talk it out.”
Everyone has heard this before. But it isn’t as simple as it sounds. You can’t stop a friend and tell them you’re scared, it’s no meager task.
But even before that, the difficult part is to figure out exactly how you feel. It’s during this time of pondering that many entertain dangerous thoughts. Thoughts of ending it once and for all.
Sometimes, thinking of suicide is what actually gets back the want to live. But more often than not, most end thing for themselves permanently.
And despite hearing this a million times, the way to get back is by talking about it. The daunting task is choosing the person you’d want to talk to.
The Right Ear to Listen
Friends are almost impossible to talk to. Despite the fact that they are the closest, no, BECAUSE of the fact that they are closest to you, they aren’t very easy to talk to.
If there is a friend you aren’t afraid of talking to, it’s perfect.
Many also assume that they don’t have any friends, which is why, again, this wouldn’t be the first option.
If we talk helplines, they are too official. Most times, we don’t want it to become this official. Records, names given, no, there’s too big a chance of people finding out. Helplines are a little complicated for more reasons than can be told.
As for approaching strangers, that’s too sudden. How can you possibly just walk up to a stranger and tell them how you feel, no. It just doesn’t work.
But doesn’t it?
Many people who have thought of suicide use the internet.
And it’s so much easier to share things to people online. They need not know who you are and by all likelihood, they won’t ever meet you in person. But again, how do you know WHO to reach out to?
To this question, I do have a solution. Or rather a way to ensure it’s possible to reach out to a group of people ready to listen.
Together with Rin-san, Rai-san and Remy-nii, I decided to call this “Continue, Don’t Quit”. The three of them, being as awesome as always, agreed to help me spread this project so it could have a wider reach and effect.
So, how does Continue, Don’t Quit work?
It’s easy. Anyone with the above logo on their blog or the tag “Continue, Don’t Quit” on their Twitter profile are ready to listen and offer any help possible.
You can speak your mind and we promise that we won’t reveal names, details or anything really, to anyone.
If you don’t want solutions but just want to write what you feel down somewhere, that’s fine too. You can tell me to not respond and I’ll just read it for you.
It really helps to be able to talk to someone with no strings attached, and I am volunteering. Please, please, take a second to talk.
It may not always have to be about how you feel, we can start with “My favourite type of shoes”, because sometimes carefree talks are effective.
In addition to providing a space to talk and to share, I also decided to do a monthly post on the same. Be it suggestions to keep happy or things not to forget, it’ll be mainly concentrated on the simplest things to remind you that you are worth it.
Everything will be fine?
Will everything be fine after you reach out? I won’t lie, it probably won’t change drastically. But I guarantee you’ll feel better after telling someone what you feel.
I may not know you. None of us might.
But we’re all there for you and that’s what matters.
Things may not be perfect immediately, they may never be. But you’re alive and you can change things.
They will definitely get better.
You may be ready to die for your friends, your beliefs, your pain, yourself. It may seem like the easy way out, but it isn’t. It is never the answer. It never will be.
“What if after you die, God asks you, How Was Heaven?”
Give yourself time to think, time to rethink and then more time to think again. Allow yourself the chance of another opinion, another person’s attention and thoughts.
Continue, Don’t Quit.
Because the question was never “Will you die for your beliefs and loved ones?”
The question is if you’d live for them.