Blaming the Victim: Or why it’s not to be done

Recently #MeToo has been on fire. Tens of thousands of women have been tweeting the tag, and a million others witnessing the mass revolution.
But what things are they, no WE trying to change? Are we looking at women empowerment? Equality? Or Justice to be brought?

*Sensitive, passionate content ahead which may also contain spoilers*

 What is the current situation?

It’s on fire, that’s for sure. Famous stars, relatives of famous stars, totally random women who aren’t well known, normal people essentially, they’ve all come out with instances.
The magnitude of response? It’s- well, it’s crazy. On one hand it’s sad to realise how much crap is going on in the world, but it’s also kind of satisfying to see people stand up against it.
Image result for #me too
Statistics are changing too fast to even attempt to put it up here, so let’s just say it is huge. It was started to create awareness about the magnitude of the issue, but it’s more or less become a wave.

At the same time many have stood against the movement. With comments ranging from, “Perhaps someone should start a #I Did Too. Then catching culprits would be easier.” to “If we arrest all the people responsible for the #Me Too then the world’s population issues would be solved wouldn’t it?”
Image result for #me too
The comments for the above mentioned video (I do not support it and hence will not give a link to it here) were… predictably against it. They said the movement generalised the whole topic, that people were giving too much importance to sexual harassment as a crime when there are so many other like murder, theft,etc. One even pointed out that some times women themselves are culprits.
I understand that it must be hard to admit that something this big is happening. I agree that not only women are harassed and abused. I agree that this feminist movement is sometimes tilting toward “anti-man”. But I don’t agree with the comments of those videos. I don’t agree that the magnitude can’t be true. Because of a simple reason.
It is.

How did it reach this crazy level?

Harassment doesn’t only mean the things we hear about on public transport or major cases like rape.
Let’s face it. Casual unwanted touches is harassment. Persisting physical contact is harassment. Anything, any damn touch, any damn thing, that makes me or any other girl/women uncomfortable is harassment.
The things guys have done on roads, I’m surprised how people still watch videos like the one above. I’ve seen it happen personally. (And took the dude to a police station as well, but guess what, they didn’t take a case.)
Why do people forget homes? Do they think that by including homes in the discussion, they’ll be losing the little solace or fake image of safe place they have left with them?
Why talk of anyone else? I’ll say it. I’ve faced it. Distant relatives’ hugs and touches made me feel uncomfortable. But I lashed out. Physically. Pushed them away or loudly said, “Don’t do that.”, not giving them a choice but to stop. It’s happened, trust me. And people turn a blind eye too, trust me.

Forget girl. Forget touch. Anything that makes someone(boy/girl/other) feel uncomfortable is harassment.

You don’t like how far the movement is going? You think we’re giving too much importance to women? Then go ahead, let the guys join too. And then maybe you’ll be ready to realise what a mess the world you’re living in is.

“Haters going to hate”

And that brings us to the major point of discussion. How did it become like this?
Because of how it’s portrayed. How it’s shown and who’s accused in the end.

Portrayal of harassment

More than thirty percent of shoujo that I have read pass off harassment as love. But today I’m not going to start talking about that. I’ll be taking two manga that fit this topic perfectly. LIFE and Nononono.

Image result for LIFE manga

In LIFE, Ayumu is harassed by a guy in her class and she puts up with it. Because she was scared that he’d tell people she cut herself. Scared that her new “friends” would not accept her. I don’t support cutting, but I hated the guy.

However, as the story progresses, she slowly but definitely grows stronger. Stands up against it. Complains to the friend and teachers. And guess what.

They don’t believe her.

They insult her, blame her. Blame the goddamn victim. Because it’s the easiest after all.

 

In Nononono, even ignoring the totally un-required ,unnecessary ecchi content, every guy ends up trying to take advantage of a girl. EVERY. SINGLE. ONE. OF. THEM.
Without an exception.

Image result for nononono manga

And I’m not even talking about just the “villain” or “bad guys”. Even those supposed to be co-leads ended up being despicable.

After reading this manga, there was a brief period when I hated every male present around. It was stupid of me to do that, but that’s what is influence.

Which brings me to my second point. If something like manga can influence me so much, then how many people are getting affected by media(including manga)? How many are slowly being lead to believe that harassment as a form of love is ok?

Fault? Whose fault?

Image result for manga train harassment

I don’t know how many of you observed the fact that people treat the victim responsible for what they faced.
Forget manga for a while. Somehow, once a woman is raped/harassed, she’s suddenly excluded from the society? Like she isn’t fit to be friends with anyone anymore?
Even if it isn’t that extreme, talks follow her across and around, always and then on.

Rape is an accident. It wasn’t their fault and they got hurt. Like any other accident. Then why treat them any different? Shouldn’t we ask them whether they recovered and then leave the matter there? Why label them for one accident? A mistake that isn’t even theirs?

First off, the one thing I blame is something we actually have control over- the portrayal of issues like this.

How is it that the victim’s name is published while the criminal’s is hidden? I’m sorry, are we trying to SAVE them? Why again are we doing that? Oh, right, we’re humane people.

Recently I finished/hated a shoujo called Kindan Wedding. It was really short- 5 chapters or so, but I hated the damn thing LONG. Why?
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The hero pretty much sexually abused the girl using her grandmother’s poor health as a blackmail. Agreed the girl’s character is totally unrealistic, but still. Abuse is abuse.
Many manga, novels, movies and media in general for that matter truly believe that if a girl gets harassed/raped/abused, it is a loss of their shame and dignity and need to react aptly.

Perhaps it’s a little shallow of me to say that every single manga/ movie/ novel is like that. And I admit, there are quite some that make absolute sense and give off the right image (like Skip Beat, Horimiya, etc).

But at the same time, like most things of today, the bad ones outweighs the good.

“Beauty is softness. You’re cute when you’re shy”

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The second thing I blame, is how household and society low key try to make women docile.

Ok guys, let’s have a show of hands on this one.
“Hey let your brother/father lift that, why do you bother?”
“I know I told you to be strong but do you have to be so headstrong?”
“You’re going to pick a fight? In that skirt?

Again, a lot of you may not agree that this has any relation to what I was saying until now, but that’s the beginning isn’t it?

“It’s too late to go out now.”
“You’re going alone?”

By showing we’re scared, what are we achieving excepts giving *insert swear word of choice*s satisfaction?

Seeing it from the parents’ perspective, I completely get it. No one wants something hurtful to happen to their child. Especially not when it can be avoided. Right?

Yeah, yeah, I get it. It’s a lot of crap, but what’s the solution?

What we need to change the situation is simple. We need to get everyone living to suddenly decide that people need to be equal and that harassment is not the right way to go about it.

Yeah…. THAT’S going to happen REAL soon.

Let me share an incident. A couple of years ago, there was this really violent rape that happened in my country. This girl was in the bus and a group of guys did some lewd things, she spoke back and yelled and stuff. Long story short, they raped her, cut her up, literally tore out her organs and did a lot of crazy things that made doctors who tried to treat her cry, let alone her parents.

The people involved were hanged after much longer than it was supposed to take, but get this. One guy involved was a minor and he was LEFT FREE.

Yes, you read that right. He is living out there somewhere right now as I type this.

Honestly, reading about something like that when I was thirteen was not a good experience.
And I swear, I’d give anything. And I mean ANYTHING, to get a chance to kill him. I want to feel his blood on my hands and FEEL his last breathe leave his throat as I kill him with my hands. Or so he’d think. I won’t let him die that easy.

It’s violent and gory, especially for a teenage girl to think of isn’t it? But I mean every word. I’d do it without blinking an eye and walk out smiling.

But that incident and useless judiciary sentence wasn’t the worst. We had a discussion about the same in school about it two years ago, all girls (I’m sure Jaune-ah remembers what I’m talking about) the famous girls in my school supported him.

Their point, and I quote here, was “He was abused as a child, we must show some mercy”.
Look, him, I understand. He’s a psycho. Agreed. But my classmates who supported him? My teachers who didn’t protest?
I’m sorry, I don’t understand. So if I had a mental disorder, you’d let me harass you will you? I don’t think so.

“A mad dog on loose needs to be taken care of. You don’t risk rabies and dead babies for the sake of animal sympathy.”

I almost cried that day. It was simple what I said wasn’t it? Some people need to be put away. You don’t want to kill him? Fine. Put him in prison at least! Don’t let him out, no repercussions.

What isn’t there to understand?

My conclusion is simple and tragic. Humans are violent, cruel, terrible creatures. We need strata, society and stupidity. We had and will always have some of us getting suppressed, harassed, tortured, ignored. Look at history if you have any doubt. We will always have a oppressed section; this phase is of women, there WILL be a next without fail.
There’s nothing we can do. It’s our nature after all.

Sometime soon, someone will realise.
And maybe, if I must have hope, someone will react alongside me. Maybe next time we have that discussion, people will at least admit the wrong happened.

Until then, though, #MeToo

 

 

 


35 thoughts on “Blaming the Victim: Or why it’s not to be done

  1. There are posts that at times leave you a bit at a loss for words. Quite honestly this is one of them, and I mean that in the most positive way that I can say that. I am a guy and lately, especially because of all the crap that seems to be getting worse with each passing day, I am ashamed to be a man. I have definitely seen it happen a lot of times at work as well: the so called funny comments about women men at times make. It has always been a bit of a thorn in my eyes so to speak. All I can say is, that luckily not every male is like that. There are enough men out there that treat women with the respect they deserve. And I think that what is happening right now, with women standing up for themselves, is terrific. And it is long overdue as well. To everyone that says it’s too much, I say it’s too little. I am in awe of this post. Well done 😊

    Liked by 1 person

    1. First off, thank you so much for reading.

      I agree that there are more than some decent men out there, but I just had to get this off my mind, and well, I was more than a little displeased with all that’s been going on.
      I’m glad that Rai-san is here reading my thoughts and honestly, I can see hope if more people are open to accept things like you.
      I was a little worried as I wrote this, maybe it’s too strong or to revenge oriented, but then I decided to hell with it, it’s what I believe.
      Thank you once again. *bows*

      Like

  2. I always try not to leave comments on posts like these but figured I’d take the risk. Interesting read. I’ve seen that hashtag around recently but didn’t know what it was about so now I know. I agree with a lot of what you say esp the role media plays but as for how to change things, well to each their own. Not even as a hypothetical would I ever want to kill anyone as that’s not my choice to make but I have once considered that this punishment would be appropriate (except if it ever was made a thing I feel like the ppl in power would abuse it.)

    Right now I know someone who is in a space where they feel uncomfortable bc of a person we both know. And as someone who is quiet, I hear a lot of things. One of the arguments for this person (from a third person) is that “thats how they are” and while I think thats true. I also think that if this person is making her feel unsafe she should say something (I think power balances are also cause for people not saying something)

    As for who is the next oppressed, there’s already so many groups out there who need to have their voices and stories heard

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I completely agree with you Shinku-senpai.
      It is the imbalance of strength that majorly disrupts society.
      And about my little violent rant, I always was a little strong on things. I know that the punishment would definitely be misused by people in power, as always, but I just can’t stand it. I mean, he should at least be in jail, senpai! He’s literally free to do what he wants, because they didn’t even show his face to the public.

      Hopefully, that person you were talking about does take a stance soon.
      It’s true, that there are so many people there whose stories need to be heard and even more important is that there ARE people ready to hear them.

      As always thank you for taking your time to comment and read. This is one of the posts I want to know what others feel about the same, so please don’t hesitate to tell me anything. I really appreciate it.

      Like

  3. Your conclusion alone sums up more issues than just harassment and rape; it’s fear. We all fear being overwhelmed by things that we personally can’t perceive to be possible. Some people are just insanely much better at suppressing fear to commit the unbelievable. Let me put this into a disgusting example.

    If I’m to really be raping someone, I’d do it without fear (since it’s suppressed), right?
    And I probably won’t come to know of it until the moment just before I meet my end. Now there definitely are people who can change before that point but that’s just being optimistic and it has ended up being more damaging than good.

    That’s how it got to this point. We as a human race have become way too optimistic. We gave oppressors too many chances. We have to show them fear; make them realize that going as far as making another person uncomfortable would get them punished. Give them so much fear to the point of that suppression isn’t possible, whether naturally or with the aid of drugs. Yes, some rapists actually need drugs to feel like raping, it’s funny I could die from laughter here.

    I’m not exactly proud to say this but the human race is still in luck, not having literally half of the world’s population either harassing or raping others.

    Okies I have to stop here before I end up writing an essay for a comment… 😛

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Shoka-san, you’re spot on.
      I’ve pretty much lost hope on reforming a criminal because this isn’t some olden day romantic movie.
      Punishing one person will at least scare two more, right?
      Drugs? Really? Just wow.
      Thanks for sharing.
      (I don’t mind an essay,XD)

      Liked by 1 person

  4. I don’t usually read serious posts, be it over here or in any other social platform, but this one, it will be a blunder to not to say anything. First of all, I don’t know if it was your first time writing on a topic as serious as this, but if it is then hats off to you!

    Coming to the post, I liked that you mentioned that one point that only passing sexual comments or doing anything beyond that isn’t what harassment means. I have always seen the main character, or what we call “Hero”, of any kind of fiction teasing and flirting with the heroine to an extent which I would label as harassment. But since, he’s the “Hero”. it’s completely fine and audience just smiles at it (But if the same thing is done by the villain, Curse him! He’s so bad he deserves to die!). I wonder if you could follow or not, but my point is that the one who is responsible the most for such disgusting acts taking place in the society isn’t the fraction of peoples with a criminal mind, but the society which is swarming with hypocrisy.

    The next kind of people who I think are extremely responsible for the existence of women suppression, are the bystanders. In my country, there has been recently a case where a woman in Hyderabad (A city in India) was raped in broad daylight, IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ROAD, but no one came to her rescue even though she cried and pleaded for hours. The reason? THEY WERE BUSY SHOOTING THE INCIDENT AND POST IT TO PORN SITES! BRAVO! Isn’t it great? Aren’t we just unique?! I was just as infuriated while reading the news as much I was upset. And the best thing about this, is that we have grown accustomed to put a blind eye to those incidents. We have become so insensitive that we can easily watch news like that early in the morning, or while having lunch AND WE DON’T GIVE A F***! Sometimes, I truly wish for this human race to vanish.

    Anyway, if you ask me, the solution for these stuff to stop requires 3 measures (As my mother taught me)
    1) Educate the men to behave. Don’t restrict the women from going out after 10 PM, but make the men ‘Human’ enough to let the girls roam freely all night, without their parents worrying sick. Don’t blame the women from wearing short dresses, make the men understand that if they can roam around in shorts freely, then the girls can do the same too.
    2) Don’t be a bystander. If anyone sees anything obscene or any kind of harassment taking place, stand against it. Just watching the wrong to happen and then spend the rest of the day in thoughts of how I could have stopped it is not going to help. If no one comes forward, you should! One person, can make a change.
    3) Strengthen the women. It’s been a long time since the women of this world has been treated lowly by men, it’s time to change and get on your feet. I don’t want the women to take advantage and create a future where the men will be living the fate same as women are right now. But I also don’t want women to cry in a corner while the society bullies her. Shut them all by force!

    Well……. I guess I ranted a little too much. I loved this post the most! Good work!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks Ryu-kun! Yes, it is my first serious topic on the forum, a much delayed one, honestly.

      It hurts me to hear about incidents like that. Truly being a silent bystander is as bad as being the one who’s committing the crime.
      Also those movies? It’s the reason all those mindless people decide it’s ok to be lewd around women.

      I am very impressed by the fact that you know exactly what the causes are and have made a great response/solution.

      And about wanting the human race to vanish, I’ve thought about it before too. It’s like rape has become so common, we don’t even consider it a big deal if some unwanted physical attention is given on the public transit.

      It’s true that soon the tables will be reversed and that isn’t what should be happening. It’s like two kids on the see saw, moving too fast. The place we need to be though is when they both put their feet down- on the same level.
      As always, thank you for sharing your opinion.
      On this topic, though, there isn’t a too much.

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Auri!!!! GREAT POST.
    Firstly, thanks so much for taking up the issue. It’s not like many people haven’t done it before, but the more the better, right?
    I remember speaking to one of my friends who live in my apartment about this issue a year back, and she said that it was very rare that a girl lives her entire life not being harassed even by the slightest degree. And that is very true.
    Every time I get out of my house, even if it is in broad daylight, my heart always beats a tad bit faster. Thank you, society, for making me, us, fight a battle we didn’t even sign up for.
    I always show a small sign of resent and protest every time my mother tells me “don’t go alone” or “it’s too late”. Although she gives me more freedom than anybody my age gets, and I understand why she says that, there are too many people to blame I don’t know where to start. So much for independence.
    We NEED change. The world is desperate, and nobody has realised that yet. I hope at least my grand grand grand daughter will be able to freely walk around the streets, wearing the shortest of shorts, at 2 in the morning.
    Again, great post.
    #MeToo

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks Synne-chan.
      I’m glad I’ve been getting a good response to this post, it’s heartening to see it.
      It’s times like this that I feel that raising our voices will actually do some good, more than just relieving our inner frustrations.

      Liked by 2 people

  6. Where do I start, Auri-yah??
    Firstly, kudos to you for writing this. I was reading the entire thing in your voice, I could feel your rage so well. You’re right, sexual harassment doesn’t start after the ‘act’ happens, it starts with tiny misogynistic comments or jokes, or an unwanted touch on the shoulder or back, or even just a longer-than-required stare on the road.

    I agree with Synne, whenever I go out of the safety of my apartment complex alone, and especially in the evenings, my heart goes a bit faster and I find myself warily looking around at all times. I often find myself picking up the pace or taking a detour when I feel a man coming anywhere close to me. It’s times like these when I feel that boys are lucky and carefree, they never have to worry about such things. And I feel angry. Furious that a whole gender, half of the world’s population has to be in constant fear and always on red alert. Put your guard down for one second, and that’s it.

    As for that entirely useless discussion in school which I remember clearly, I have this to say. It’s this ‘merciful’ and ‘understanding’ attitude that lets these b******s get away with what they’re doing, mentally ill or not. And however ‘progressive’ or ‘modern’ society claims itself to be, it can never truly be so until a woman can walk down a lonely road in the middle of the night with a skip in her step and a smile on her face.

    Sorry for the long rant, but I couldn’t help it. Thanks for this post, hope to see you tackling more such topics.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thanks for reading Jaune-ah.
      It’s this comment that makes me feel bad that you were able to put all my emotion into a hundred words what took me two thousand.
      I appreciate it though, I really do.
      I’m glad I was able to get myself out there and actually have others understand what I was expressing.

      Synne-chan and you got it right. I usually end up picking fights with them which makes things worse for friends with me, but honestly it’s time we did that. When I was younger I actually wanted to be a boy for a similar reason.
      Brother is allowed to climb trees and play in the dark, Auri isn’t.

      That discussion was probably one of the biggest turning point of school life for me. It was then that I stopped bothering to be nice anymore. To them that is.

      Thanks for reading and I hope so too.

      Liked by 2 people

  7. Great post Auri! Amazing job with this!! This is an extremely important issue and I’m very happy that someone’s doing something about it.
    Even though we live in a so called “modern” world, people still look down on those who try to raise these issues and do something about it. Despite living in the 21st century, I can’t walk out of my house alone wearing whatever the hell I want, without fearing that someone’s going to stare at me. My parents don’t want to let me out on my own because of the kind of s*** that happens. And even then we see no change. People point fingers at the girl, as if it was solely her fault. They never give a damn about the boys. This problem is one that is extremely deep rooted in society, and unless we don’t make a change at the root level, it will never be better.
    This need to be changed, because we’re people too right? We’re not objects that can be used however the f*** they want and then thrown away. I hope that it will change, atleast a 1000 years in the future.
    Again, great job with this Auri!!!
    Lucy💙

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you Lu-chan. I’m glad you too feel similarly.
      I agree with what you said and I honestly hope we can change this at the root level itself.
      I seem to be finding about how something like this has happened to everyone and it makes me angry. But I also see that they also want things to change, and I’m glad.

      Liked by 1 person

  8. ~
    First of all, hats off to you, because the essence of the post was very well portrayed. Sometimes I really do feel disgusted to be a male, and a part of society that have made females subservient over generations. I feel that the first step all adolescents/adults should take to stop all these activities from happening in the first place is to control their hormones. And by that, I mean to completely refrain from watching any pornographic content. Stats show that 70% of male adolescents feed material like that into their heads on a regular basis, which manifests in activities like rape in extreme cases. All of us, I mean all people who consider themselves as responsible males should be careful in the way we approach and socialize with women/girls. We should do it with awareness and caution. Furthermore, the gender bias is so ingrained in our society that even girls/females start to believe it themselves. To be honest, that is the saddest result of all the discrimination and abuse that have happened all over the years. I hate it when other males complain about matters like “Women are making a big deal out of gender bias” and “Girls really are so emotional and butthurt about little things that happens to them”. If women assert their authority, the least thing we males can do is listen, even if we do not give our blatant support. Dismissing it off will only mean digging our own graves in the future because as you rightfully pointed out, the targeter eventually becomes the targeted. It is only a matter of time.
    ~
    Sometimes even I start to believe that females make a big fuss and they should be taken lightly. I’m admitting it, I am a hypocrite at times. Being in a male chauvinistic society gets you to think like that sometimes. But when I see gems of posts like this with the essence so wonderfully portrayed, I realize that women should never be taken lightly. After all, they multiply and throw back whatever you give them, be it shit or love.
    ~

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Like I said, I’m open to different opinions. Again, I’m satisfied that people are taken this seriously and that I’m able to express my views clearly and it’s reaching out.

      However as Rai-san said, I cannot hate every male because of the majority and similarly you cannot call women weak because the majority has been suppressed.
      However, I also admit that some people do kick up a fuss over unimportant things, but then again that’s just because our priorities aren’t the same isn’t it?

      Thanks for reading Zel-kun.

      Like

  9. Reblogged this on Welcome to my Escape. and commented:
    Hey guys!
    Please give this article by Auri a read. It talks about a very important issue that’s on the rise all around the world, and we have to do something about it real quick. This post speaks the minds of so many girls, and is so well written I had to share it with you all.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. I hear you. I really do. Some really messed up things happen in our country. Like just the other day, I read in the newspaper about a trending video on youtube. Of a woman being raped. In broad daylight. In the middle of a crowded flea market. While others just went about their business, not even bothering about what was happening right under their noses, to say. Some god damn fool even took a video of this. If only, he had fuelled the same energy he did to shoot the video, into actually pulling the rapist off her, the woman would be in a much better space today. And I’m talking about her mental condition, not her social one.

    It made me sick to the stomach, to think that people were actually watching and re-watching such an awful thing, to the extent where it was ‘trending’. I was so mad- it made me want to cry. So, yes. Yes, I think, this is a very appropriate topic, and kudos to you for making this blog, Auri. And also, I couldn’t be prouder of you for the way you handled a topic that is so delicate, in our society, at least.

    Also, to be honest, the incident you mentioned- the school discussion… I don’t remember anything of the sort, although, I most probably wasn’t there. At any rate, I can actually imagine certain foolish people justifying that insane boy’s actions. And maybe, just maybe, the same thoughts went through the judge/jury’s minds too. And that’s how he got off, scot-free. No one there cared about the parents of the girl, about what they had to say. And that was sad- this was something that had shocked us all to the core. Seeing it blatantly dismissed and disregarded like that, was terrifying for a thirteen year old me.

    I think the real problem stems from a lack of education. Ethical education, specifically. Or moral education, if you will. People, not just men, but women too, need to be made aware of respecting others. Their privacy, their personal space and their comfort. Until that happens, we will confined in a cage, a prison of our own making.

    And although these changes won’t come soon enough for me to actually be able to appreciate it, I hope there will be a time when we won’t need to be scared, going out alone. And I hope, there will come a time when we won’t need a ‘Me Too’ campaign to address harassment.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. M-chan, I’m slightly surprised you don’t remember that discussion, but yes, as all other comments I have received, I agree with all the points you took up.
      I’m glad you’re proud, but I think it was long enough it took me to get this out here.
      Ethical education is truly essential. Also the fact that rape has been put forward in the society as something the women is ashamed of and man not so much as punished, I can see why such a thing is trending.
      Ryu-kun took up the same point and I express the same opinion- disgust.

      Similarly, seeing us, as thirteen year olds reading about rape and an unpunished one at that, probably destroyed innocence much more than anything else.
      My parents were slightly disturbed at the fact that I had said I want to vividly feel the warmth of that escaped minor’s blood on my hands. But that’s what it has come to M-chan.
      We will probably always need a #MeToo. Because by the time that prison does open, we’ll probably be dead. Like the dead bird in an open cage.

      Like

  11. I’d hate to have to be that guy but I feel kinda neutral on the whole. I definitely believe that sexual assault is a serious subject but this whole #MeToo thing is something I almost don’t look (for lack of better phrasing) very seriously because almost no one is naming names, pointing out the niggas that are the culprits. In my eyes they’re only showing the scope of the problem and we all pretty much knew this was a problem before. As far as your anything that makes anyone uncomfortable is harassment quote I halfway disagree because it’s top broad of an umbrella.

    The whole victim blaming thing is awful, things like blaming a victim for rape is bad. Personally I’m a little skeptical when I hear about things like that I don’t necessarily think they’re lying nor do I brush it aside but I don’t just automatically believe them as I’m skeptical of just about everything. So many people ostracize the victim possibly because that’s what humanity has been doing for a few thousand years, the whole concept of a woman who was raped being almost like a damaged good still is somewhat present in the modern day. I gotta disagree with you when you said society is trying to make women docile, if anything people don’t want women to be so timid and kind of weak. And the whole thing about strength is accurate the average female is weaker than the average male.

    In some areas you really don’t want to be out alone after a certain time with certain things on. For example I used to live in some pretty bad neighborhoods and you don’t want to be that guy or girl out late on the block by yourself, you know it’s a high risk that you’ll get robbed, shot, raped, etc so one should be smart enough to just avoid it all together. For the most part most people at least in the west believe that harassment is wrong and that people are equal. The incident of the girl getting raped and butchered is fucking awful and sound like something out of South America or south east asia, I’m not surprised that they let a minor off since giving a minor the death penalty would cause a country to go under world wide scrutiny. At the most I’d say a couple life sentences.

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    1. Like I said, each to their own.
      I, however, as it’s pretty clear, don’t completely agree with you.
      BUT, I don’t expect or even want everyone to think like me after all.
      I can see the point you’re making, but at the same time it may be true for where you’re living.
      My family has definitely experienced things like docility is good.
      And if we begin by looking at averages, then I can say that every man in my country is dangerous and deserves nothing but hate. I’m not one to generalise anything, not only women and men but even things pertaining to likes and dislikes.

      Anyway, I think the reason why people aren’t able to point out fingers or even name names are because they’re people you’re with every day. If someone said #MeToo, my teacher did, their lives are miserable because our world isn’t open enough to take constructive criticism yet.
      When that time does come, I’m sure we’ll be able to put forward the whole list as well.
      Thanks for dropping by!

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      1. Yea people in my country pretty much never experience that but they (specifically the feminist ironically) like to make a big deal about miniscule things like women can’t walk outside naked and even at times they try to create a problem out of nowhere meanwhile there’s women over in the middle east who can get acid thrown on them or killed by their husbands and their government thinks it’s perfectly fine, women in africa who get their genitals mutilated, women world wide who get raped, sold to be sex slaves, butchered, children molested, etc. And all they do when you bring up that is they’ll just sit their dumbfounded and silent because they lie about rape, abuse, etc. That’s the type of shit that makes me a bit angry. I can imagine it’s bad in your country and it should change, and I’m not trying to be offensive or a jackass but with the way women here in the US claim all men are rapist, men are scum, etc I kinda get skeptical at times. Ironically the few male celebrities that came out with the stories of how they were sexually harassed had to publicly apologize because of the backlash.

        That could be one reason. Personally I think they’re worried about losing their jobs. As a whole the world isn’t ready but I know here in the US people are ready to jail anyone accused of rape without anything more than a claim. Hopefully the names come out sooner or later.

        Liked by 1 person

    2. Maybe it’s because you’re a male (I’m guessing, if I’m wrong, then apologies) or maybe such incidents don’t occur as frequently where you live, and so you’ve never experienced this, but in our country (Auri’s and mine), women are generally suppressed by society and a strong independent woman is often spoken of derogatorily and advised or even forced to bow down to the patriarchy. In every corner of the world, women are subjected to some form of harassment or the other, and it’s not always visible to an outsider, mainly men.

      That said, the terrible rape case referred to in this article shook up our nation very badly, and the public sentiment was of extreme outrage and disbelief that one of the b*****ds walked free even though he had ceased to be a minor shortly after the incident. In fact, even after a documentary was released about the incident, major politicians and various influential people insisted that the victim was partially to blame, even though she had been dressed ‘decently’ and was even accompanied by a male companion, who was also beaten badly by the criminals.

      Any comment passed with a sexual or predatory undertone to anyone, in my opinion, counts as harassment, and I’m sure one can differentiate between harmless comments and suggestive ones, so if someone feels they’ve been harassed, then they most probably have.

      Like you pointed out very sagely, while the average woman is weaker than the average male, it does not give them the right to act as if they own a woman’s body and can do whatever they please to her.
      True, such cases can be prevented to some extent by staying away from dodgy areas and going out after dark, but it is incredibly impractical to suggest women follow this forever. How do you expect women working or studying or heck, even partying out late to cease their daily activities altogether?

      Sorry if this reply came off as a tad offensive, but I took objection to certain things you mentioned, and also felt the need to clarify certain things. This was not meant in a personal way, it’s just my opinion.
      Thanks

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I know women in the world are seen as property, inferior, or as sexual objects, etc. It shouldn’t be that way, the only real way it can change is if people change. There’s always going to be people that do shit like abuse rape, gawking at people who they find attractive. The best option is to have people in countries where it happens a lot learn that it’s not acceptable. Women and every person on this planet has faced harassment, it shouldn’t happen. Funnily enough me my friend Seth and a few of our female friends were talking about harassment here in the US specifically sexual harassment. One thing we all kind of realized and had already known is that it happens to most people male and female but people react differently depending on the sex and the person. I’ve noticed that in the states there’s a double standard, that’s that sexual harassment is something that should be taken seriously…unless you don’t happen to have a vagina. Most women don’t like the harassment but they also do it to guys and apparently they don’t know that they’re doing it or they’ll even tell the guy “they should enjoy it”.

        How did he walk free is was almost an adult? In my experience they’ll give a minor a full sentence if they’re 16 or 17 and younger if the crime is bad enough. I don’t get the logic behind blaming a rape victim because they dressed “too scantily” you could be a Muslim woman wearing a burka and still get raped, their logic is so dumb. The criminals must’ve been some kind of crazy to jump them and then rape her. If anyone tried that on my girl they’d be on the ground with a few bullet holes in them.

        If someone has predatory comments then there’s definitely a problem however some sexual comments might be taken out of context. For example me and some guys were talking about president Trump’s “grab them by the pussy comments” and some lady in her mid 30’s happened to over hear us and she thought we were saying that rape was ok. In actuality we we’re saying that Trump was sort of right because he was talking about how some women will let a guy do sexual shit to them just because he’s rich or famous. I don’t condone it but his quote was an accurate depiction of some women. It’s best to know the context of something.

        A woman being weaker doesn’t mean should be seen as property, there ain’t a damn thing that justifies anyone being seen like that. I’m nit saying they should follow the idea of not going out but they should play it smart at times. If you’re gonna be out late either carry a gun, knife, or something for self defense on you, take self defense classes, see if someone can accompany you, etc. Like if you’re gonna go to the club to turn up see if somebody trust worthy can be your driver, watch your drinks, and so on. You just gotta play it smart and try to minimize the risk of something bad happening.

        I don’t take offense to the reply, truthfully nothing can offend me. Its good to take objection to certain things, most people don’t see eye to eye on most subjects.

        Liked by 1 person

  12. How true. We are living in the society victims need to give up to fight so the case can be closed peacefully but they don’t care the feeling of victims, or their feeling is the smallest issue? And if they decide to struggle, seek for justice, some people will blame/discredit them and sometimes, leave blind society review victims via mediums.

    And some countries are like the hell for women (our societies are like the heaven, compare to those). Raping and etc. are sooooo normal/legally so they can do it over and over. So they will not be wrong.

    Just the tiny chance, it can ruin woman/child’s future for the rest of their lives.

    In spite of women’s population is more than men’s, the gender that have more power, will rule others and write law that is benefit to them. The justice/equal is the illusion.

    What we can do is just let it fade with time, but it will return again, whenever some related event happens in front of us, and we will suffer because of our regret, because we surrendered to the cruel world.

    I found out that confronting people who made me suffer is the best choice. They were scared when I suddenly changed my attitude (because I couldn’t stand it anymore and my rage won my stupid logic). They are not powerful or scary like I thought. Fear those people is very stupid. And whenever I remember it, I never regret and can be proud.

    After watching Fate/Apocrypha ep18, what unborn children can’t find happiness, reflect the cruel truth of humankind. This problem is just the part of tragedy of the world. (and yes, this is just the anime, but literature always reflects some truth of the society.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Ya-san, I thought about long how I could add anything to what you said, and found that there’s nothing else I can.

      I’m so satisfied to see that people are ready to speak up (albeit in this tiny nook of the internet) and share their thoughts on the matter.

      As always, thanks for dropping by.

      Liked by 1 person

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